we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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