When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
