I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just high enough for therapy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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