Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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