I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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