careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
