I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
