I want to stick my p in your. b.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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