Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish i was in the wii world.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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