I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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