Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
barbara walters just said penis...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
