We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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