I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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