The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
