Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
