I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize