Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
