Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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