If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
