my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
