What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
