his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
