Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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