after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
