wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
