yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
