Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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