it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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