I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
