i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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