i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
