I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
