You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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