I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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