So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize