i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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