I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
