If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
