He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
