Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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