Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do herpes really smell.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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