dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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