They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
