Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
