Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
