Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
