Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
