So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I need a beard to bite.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
