she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
