chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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