My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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