why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
