Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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