the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
