i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
