she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
