Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
