I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
