I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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